me and my boyfriend have been together for nearly 5 years. were both 18 but 19 soon. he has a drug habit, he smokes weed and cigarettes but nothing worse. To be fair he’s getting help with the weed at a hostel. he isn’t living there atm tho. He has stolen money from me and my family in the past so clearly they don’t like him and ive been banned from seeing him for the last 3 years but were still together in secret. He’s also in line to get a flat from the council and wants us to live there in january. We’ve been talking about having a baby for ages we both want one and we think it’ll stop my parents from trying to split us up so it’ll make our bond a lot stronger. He’s really excited about us having our own family so am i, and i think i’m more or less ready, or will be in 9 months. he wants to start trying tomorrow tho? i don’t know if he’s doing it for the right reasons. and today I decided to watch Maury and saw all the dads denying their baby’s, i know he wouldn’t do that, but he always accuses me of cheating because we haven’t slept together for 8 months i really didn’t wanna end up like that, i text him today are you absolutely sure about having a baby, u ain’t gonna leave me to be a single mum right? 
and he said you know i would never do that. he always makes protests that if i ever left him and tried to take the baby he would fight because no1 would ever stop him from seeing his kid. 
i love him to bits and i want to be with him for the rest of my life. maybe a baby is the only way for us to do that.even if that means my family dis-owning me…i didn’t get on with them anyway :/ so it’s not a huge loss. i just wanna get some opinions on it, i cant trust my family to talk to coz they’ll break his legs. let me know if u wanna no anything else THANKS FOR THE HELP x
Chosen Answer:
to be honest i dont think you should, he needs to get his drug habit sorted its not ideal to get pregnant while there are drugs involved it can cause health problems to the baby for a start and drug addicts always put their habit first. and he steals from you and accuses you of cheating, there clearly is a trust issue here and it wouldnt be fair to bring a baby into all this a baby wouldnt improve it but make it worse. you dont sound ready either sounds like hes convinced you so you automatically think its the best option,he clearly hasnt thought about it which is quite selfish as i assume you dont have jobs or a home to provide for a baby, they need money to survive if you have a baby and cant provide for them how is that fair? i really think you should wiat at least a year and if you are still together and got all your problems sorted then it would be a better time to start a family but not right now, although he says he wouldnt leave you as a single mum im sure he isnt aware of the repsonsibility and how demanding a baby is and sometimes that can be too much for people and i can see you ending up a single mum with no family because your family are angry you had a child with him sometimes you should listen to your family theyre often right. having a baby definately wouldnt make a difference in how your parents feel aobut him, infact theyll probably feel worse that you have gone ahead and had a baby when there are important issues that needing solving first. its completely your chocie but you asked advice on here and this is what youll get, i think youd be making a mistake. if hes serious and loevs you enough and seriously wants a family he will sort out his problems and get a job and provide for you and the baby well in advance. to me id feel selfish bringing a baby into the world knowing problems will arise based on drugs and lies id hate to let my baby grow up seeing and hearing that. you both need to matre and grow as people, in a few years you wont be the same and probably wont be together you should wait until you find someone decent before having kids. good luck.